Fuck You Friday: Wishiwashi

I’m gonna start this off with a phrase that I may use several times throughout this post, and will no doubt be a response to most points people have against my argument.

I get it. It’s a fish, this is what fish do. So yes, I get it. Doesn’t make me less annoyed.

Now then…

I love Pokemon, and Gen 7 has had some amazingly designed creatures. Heck it has my second favourite Pokemon in Cutiefly. There were plenty solid designs and cool ideas. But what in the ever-loving fuck were they thinking with Wishiwashi. Now here’s where my intro paragraph comes in. I get it, it’s a fish, it’s a small fish, but when there’s lots of them it’s a big fish, a school of fish if you will, so they gather together for protection etc. Sure, yeah, that’s fine. But let’s delve a bit further in shall we?


So Wishiwashi starts off as this small little fish, a sardine looking little thing. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. It also has the lowest base stat total of all Pokemon coming in at a pitiful 175. But it has this crazy ability called Schooling, one never before seen in Pokemon, and one that ties very well in to what the Pokemon is based off. Schooling says that once Wishiwashi hits level 20, at the start of a battle, or turn, if its HP is above 25%, it will change forms, to this beast…


This form has a monstrously high stat total of 620, on par with some legendaries, but here’s the kicker. Its speed actually drops by 10, putting it down to a measly 30 base speed, which very few Pokemon will have trouble outspeeding. Once they do however, they will have to deal with its very high defenses. The only time I feel I struggled with this Pokemon, was when it was presented to me as a totem Pokemon (high level Pokemon that start with a stat boost), even then, I had a strong electric type Pokemon in my team which was able to dispatch it quickly enough. But my problem with this lies elsewhere.

Let’s have a look at that ability. Once it reaches a certain level, at the start of the battle, it will change forms. At a certain level it will change forms. Isn’t this similar to something we’ve seen before in Pokemon? Oh that’s right, evolution! One of the key mechanics to the Pokemon games! You want better Pokemon? Better get there levels up so they evolve and look more cool and learn better stuff and kick more ass! They’ve chosen to forego this, and just have more of the fish to make it stronger. I can’t get too mad, there was a Pokemon which was essentially more of the first stage put together. Magneton.


This wonderful thing from Gen 1, and to the observant lot of you, this just looks like 3 Magnemites stuck together, and it pretty much is. But it was also, an evolution. Magnemite had to evolve to undergo this form change, get better stats, and just be better in general. Now again, I get it, a stat boosting, form-changing ability is a neat idea, and the more I go over this argument, the more I feel I’m fighting a losing battle, but why not just make it evolve? I’ve never really had a problem battling against a Wishiwashi, and knowing that when I get it to a certain level of HP, I could win the battle by throwing my shoe at it, leaving me about as fearful as a deer covered head to hoof in Kevlar.

Some Pokemon are pretty cool unfortunately Wishiwashi, you are not.

Fuck you Wishiwashi.


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